Restore Me Page 13
I gasp and look back to the apartment. It’s perfect and right here. I can see her all the time. We can eat our meals together. We can talk as much as we want and, most importantly, no one can steal from her anymore. I don’t try to hide the stupid grin on my face. My Big Man looks as proud as I’ve ever seen him. That crooked smile tilts up one side of his mouth. Those amber eyes that I love so much are lit up and he looks completely happy. I take his hand in mine. I look down at our joined hands as I try to collect my thoughts and come up with the words I’m looking for. He faces me and waits.
“Damon, I-I don’t know what to say. I don’t deserve all of this.”
He takes both my hands and puts them around his back, drawing me close to him. He cups my face in his big hands as his warm eyes stare back at me. “You deserve every bit of it. You’re my reason.”
“For what?”
“Everything. I’d be lost without you. Josephine, you save me a thousand times a day in a thousand different ways and you don’t even know it. I remember thinking that I wanted to be your person that day at the accident. Even back then I wanted to be there for you. You should be called ma’am.”
I furrow my brows. I have no clue why the hell he would want to call me ma’am for and why that has a thing to do with us or this amazing house. He sees the confusion he’s caused and goes on.
“When I called you ma’am in the bookstore, when we first met, you told me that I shouldn’t call you that. You said only people who have a title or stature or a husband should be called ma’am,” he explains, rushing on. “I want you to be a ma’am.”
I soak in his words through every pore, through every cell of my body, and let myself be saturated by what he’s saying. I do remember saying that to him that morning in the store. Ma’am. What a goofball.
“Be my wife. Marry me, Josephine.” He kneels down, looking just a little nervous, and it melts me completely.
I heard him. I saw his mouth moving. I see him anticipating my answer but my brain is stuck on stupid. The only thing I can manage is to stare at him. My heart is speeding so fast in my chest I feel out of breath, just standing here. I smile so wide that my cheeks hurt. I pull him up from the ground and throw my arms around his neck. Damon sweeps me off my feet and I’m pressed so hard against his firm chest that I can barely breathe.
“Say it one more time,” I whisper in his ear.
His chest begins to shake with mirth. “Marry me?” he says through his laughter.
“One more time?” I plea.
He sets me back to my feet and looks at me with wide eyes. “Woman, if you don’t tell me you’ll marry me right now—”
“Yes. I’ll marry you.” I cut off his idle threat with the most clear, resounding yes I can offer.
His laughter fades and his chest expands as he inhales deeply. “I’m going to make you very happy,” he promises softly. It’s a familiar promise that deserves a familiar response.
“You already have.” He smiles and tucks my hair behind my ear. One of his hands slips into his pocket and produces a breathtaking ring. My mouth pops open as he holds it out to me.
“Read the inscription.” He offers me the ring and I bring it close to read the writing on the inside of the band.
My heart resides with you.
It’s a portion of the quote that Papa had inscribed on the watch he gave Maman. I’ll always have a piece of both of them on the ring that signifies my union with Damon. I couldn’t ask for more.
My Papa won’t walk me down the aisle. I won’t get the pre-walk chat with him about how I’ve grown up but I’ll always be his girl. There won’t be a father-daughter dance, either.
My Maman won’t get to help me pick a dress. She won’t get to ooh and ahh over my hair and makeup on my big day. There will be no choosing flower arrangements together.
They won’t be at my wedding. But my Damon has found a beautiful way to make sure they are both very much in the center of it all. And of our lives. An instant lump forms in my throat and tears pool in my eyes, fogging my vision. Damon takes the ring from my trembling hand and kisses it. He turns my left hand over, palm down, and slips the ring into place on my finger. It fits like a glove. It fits like it’s always been there.
“It’s perfect, thank you,” I croak. I stare down at the ring in awe. It glitters and glistens in the light. It’s a single diamond, held high in a six prong setting, and it’s perfectly me.
Damon’s finger hooks under my chin and tilts my head to look at him. His honey eyes consume me like they always do. His fingers tangle in my hair. He leans in and I lick my lips just before his mouth comes down on mine. His lips cover mine and lead the kiss. He steals my breath as he takes from me hungrily. It’s the most meaningful kiss to seal the deal and I give him the best I’ve got. After another, softer kiss he breaks from me. “So, can I take my fiancé to celebrate?”
His emphasis on my new title has me grinning like an idiot.
“After all of this…” I motion around me then look down at my ring again. “I’m pretty sure you can do whatever the hell you want. I’m in heaven.”
He smiles and waggles his eyebrows. Oh hell. I love my dirty, Big Man.
“Let’s get out of here.” He slings his heavy arm around my shoulders and we walk towards the front door. As he turns to lock the door, my phone starts to ring in my back pocket. I pull it from my jeans and see that it’s Noni. She’s been calling nonstop over the past few days with ideas for the coffee shop. I know she’s excited about it, but damn. Now’s not the time to be bothered. I’m enjoying our moment!
“Hey, Noni. Everything okay?” I ask, sounding way too chipper to even my own ears. Must be the huge rock on my left hand and this gorgeous house. I smile again just thinking about all of it. “What’s up? Did you ever think of a good name for those Danish things?”
There’s a pause and my face fades. Something’s wrong.
“What’s wrong?” I demand.
“Um, nothing’s really wrong, Jo. I was just calling…because of the letter. You told me to call if I was willing to talk. He’s mine.”
I’m so fucking shocked that I can practically feel the color drain from my face. Damon turns to look at me then does a double take. His jaw tightens and does that ticking thing. I better get a grip or he’s going to know something’s up.
“Your last name isn’t Davis!” I blurt out.
“No, it’s not. It’s a long story. I’ve gone by Noni for years. It’s my nickname.”
“Um, yeah, okay, no big deal. We can talk about the menu tomorrow at work.” I do my best to play it off like I’m having some work conversation with her.
“He’s right there, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, yeah.” I kick at nothing on the walkway as I struggle to keep this mess from exploding in my face. I’ve just gotten engaged. I don’t want to ruin everything by Damon finding out what I’ve done.
“I’m so sorry, Jo.” The remorse that I hear in Noni’s voice is genuine. I can’t even wrap my brain around it. Noni, my Noni. My Noni is Beverly, Damon’s biological mother.
“Okay, no big deal. We can figure it all out in the morning. See ya tomorrow. Bye.” I hang up in a hurry and stuff the phone into my pocket.
“Noni?” he asks.
For a moment I think he knows. My mouth is dry, my heart is pounding out of control, my stomach turns; I have to lie. He isn’t ready.
“What’s wrong?”
“She just needs me to look over some coffee shop stuff but I want to stay right here with you. I want to forget everything and everyone.” Only part of my explanation is a lie. I really do just want to stay right here with him and forget the world but what’s done is done. There’s no turning back. I already went behind his back and found his mother.
“Maybe I should take my woman on a vacation?”
I smile and relax as he wraps his arm around me again and we walk towards his truck.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t argue with some time away from here. It
would be nice.”
He releases me to open my door. “Really?” He looks at me with an expression of disbelief on his face. I guess I just shocked the shit out of him.
“Really.”
My Big Man smiles triumphantly then shuts my door and rounds the truck. He slides into the driver’s seat and lifts my left hand. He glances at the ring he just put there and looks at me with the sweetest, heartmelting, boyish smile I’ve ever seen on his face.
I know he deserves to know what I’ve done. I’ve always assumed that Noni stared at Damon and blushed around him because she was a cougar or something. I never would’ve dreamed that she’s the one who gave birth to him. I don’t know if I can tell him. He’s on his way to being better. Truth be told, I think we’re both well on our way to being better.
I don’t think there is an end, though. I think I’ll be getting better for the rest of life. I’ll spend the days I have left restoring and repairing all of the damaged parts of my life and I’m okay with that. I just hope he can be okay with it, too. Like Dr. Versan says, “it’s okay to not be okay.” I’m smack in the middle of not being okay and I’m hoping for our sake that the good doc is right. I have so much to lose. It’s a gamble that I’m not sure I’m willing to make. I’ll forget about all of this and marry the love of my life. I fought so damn hard to get him back after what happened. I won’t risk losing him to his past again.
***
I’m running out of options and that cunt is screwing up the only plan I have. Stupid bitch! That’s what she is and I know how to handle stupid bitches. My cell phone rings in my shirt pocket and I pull it out and flip it open to answer. I don’t have to check the screen. I know who it is. He said he would call today.
“Yeah.”
“Hey, man. We gotta talk.” This motherfucker sounds edgy. He’s been getting more and more nervous. If he doesn’t knock it the fuck off, this whole thing is going to go up in smoke.
“Yeah, we do. Did you do what I asked you to do?”
He sighs into the phone. The pussy didn’t do it.
“Not yet,” he says. “I’m working on it. Listen, we have problems.”
I’m not shocked with this idiot; we always have problems. “What the fuck is wrong now?”
“I think she might know. And that big motherfucker she’s with is making me nervous as hell. He looks crazy.”
“Listen. You have a very simple job to do. I pay you really fucking well to do that job. If you won’t get it done, I’ll pay someone else. Got it?”
“What about the chick?”
“You don’t worry about that bitch or her boyfriend. I’ll handle them. You just do what you were paid to do!”
“Yeah. Okay. I’ll do it.”
“Good. Don’t call me again until it’s done.” I snap my phone shut and take a slug of whiskey. It’s cheap and tastes like goat piss. Hell, goat piss might even taste better than this shit. I’d buy the good booze, but times are hard and money is tight. I’ve got to get that fucking money or I’m not going to have to worry about buying anything to drink. I’ll be in the goddamned desert being eaten by buzzards. I have to get that money. My good for nothing son won’t give me a fucking penny, so that leaves Mom. I’ll get it from her and if that fails, it’s coming out of Damon’s pocket. Somehow. He’s been a mistake since he was conceived. That bitch tried to ruin everything by getting knocked up. I showed her how to shut up and go away. I’ll show this little bitch girlfriend of his, too.
The End…
for now.
***
Acknowledgements are quite possibly the most difficult part of writing a book. I don’t want to leave anyone out but at the same time I won’t ramble out names for pages on end. It’s simple really. There is a handful of people in my life who I simply like a whole lot. So many people run around saying “oh I just love this or that or him or her.”
I say that liking someone means a hell of a lot more than anything else. I have to like a person before I bring them into my crazy little world. These are some people that I simply like!
My agent, Marisa Corviesiero, is quite possibly one of the coolest, most industry savvy people I know and she isn’t scared to drop the f-bomb on occasion. She’s a lady after my own heart.
You bloggers who work your butts off for nothing more than the satisfaction of reading and sharing a book, thank you for loving to read as much as you do.
Angela McLaurin! I will never, EVER say “bless your heart” to you. Ever. You are one hell of a formatter and woman! Thank you.
My amazing editor, Erin! I still vote that you rename Wise Owl Editing to Wise Ass Editing. It’s a cool name and we both know it fits. Thank you for being the best damn, under paid, over worked editor on the planet!
Robin Harper you are one skilled woman. You swooped in to save the day at the very last minute. You did two spectacular covers for me in record time. I feel like maybe I should get you a drink sometime. Just saying.
Heather Halloran! I’m not sure what I would do without our daily conversations. You are an awesome lady and blogger who I am lucky to talk to almost daily.
To my family. Thank you for supporting my career. It makes this job even more rewarding and gratifying.
To my readers. You all humble me all the time with how much you love my characters and stories. They come to life only through you.
***
J.L. Mac is twenty-six years old and currently resides in El Paso, Texas, where she enjoys living near her parents and siblings. She was born and raised in Galveston, Texas, until she married her husband in July of 2005. She has two young children and is married to a soldier in the United States Army. J.L. and her family have lived all over the United States and have enjoyed each new experience in each new place. J.L. admittedly has had a long and sordid love affair with the written word and has loved every minute of it.
She drinks too many glasses of wine on occasion, and says way too many swear words to be considered “lady-like.” J.L. spends her free time reading, writing, and playing with her children.
Stay connected with J. L. Mac
Twitter: http://twitter.com/JaimiLMcCormick
Facebook: www.facebook.com/jlmacbooks
Blog: http://jlmacbooks.blogspot.com/
***
Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Epilogue
About the Author
Acknowledgements